A Tale of Two Bars
by harrypanther
Summary: One Shot Challenge with Vala 411/ Modern AU: A green-eyed guy is very sad and drunk in Thorstonton Bar in Berk. An equally sad blonde is drunk in a bar in Miami. Coincidence or machination? Ruffnut smells a rat...but playing matchmaker halfway across the country isn't easy-especially with an idiot brother and a conniving would-be suitor…


**ONE SHOT CHALLENGE with Vala 411**

Base a story on your favourite 'old' song.

Rules:

1; Min 4000 words

2: Must include Rufflegs alongside Hiccstrid

3: Must include one line directly taken from the song

4: Due by end of month (Feb 2019)

Choice= Little ole' wine drinker me by Dean Martin

**Summary:** A green-eyed guy is very sad and drunk in Thorstonton Bar in Berk. An equally sad blonde is drunk in a bar in Miami. Coincidence or machination? Ruffnut smells a rat...but playing matchmaker halfway across the country isn't easy-especially with an idiot brother and a conniving would-be suitor…

**Disclaimer:** I don't own How To Train Your Dragon. Rights remain with Cressida Cowell and Dreamworks.

**A/N: When I received this challenge, I hadn't realised what would ****happen. I love the Dean Martin classic...and who else was ever going to be the 'fool in the corner, crying' except Hiccup? So how did we get there-and how do we get out of it? Enjoy.**

oOo

The same guy was sitting slumped in the corner for the fourth day in a row, a bottle uncorked and a glass nursed in his hands. A picture was resting on the table in front of him and every so long he would sit back and close his eyes, looking unutterably sad.

Raquel 'Ruffnut' Thorston leaned on the bar, her eyes trailing over the guy. He wasn't her type but there was something about him that drew the eye. He was tall and skinny, his dark auburn hair choppily cut and framing a sharp-jawed face with stunning green eyes and a few faded freckles. Scruff darkened the line of his jaw and he looked exhausted and unkempt. He had quietly occupied the table at opening yesterday and the two days before, stayed until closing and then had ambled in precisely three minutes after opening, gathering a bottle of vino and proceeding to get drunk. She glanced around: there were only a couple of others in 'Thorstonton Bar' at this time in the afternoon, regulars who were practically part of the furniture. Mulch, Bucket, Sven and Lars were guys who had come with the bar when Raquel and her brother, Tommy, bought it from the previous owner and they had hung around since. All of them were older guys who seemed to work intermittently, had known each other forever and were part of the family.

Wiping the bar over again, Ruffnut glanced over at the sad guy and sighed. Her brother was out back unloading the delivery and it was the quiet part of the day. She should be able to get a few minutes off-but she felt the strongest urge to go and talk to the stranger. Flicking her long thick blonde braids off her long face, Ruffnut grabbed a fresh bottle of wine and walked to the table.

"Hey," she said as she stopped by him and he peered myopically up at her.

"Hey." His voice was light and slightly nasal. "Are you the guy from the bar?" She huffed obviously.

"I'm a girl, doofus," she snapped. He sagged.

"Sorry-I'm not wearing my reading glasses," he mumbled, taking another gulp from his glass. Instinctively, she reached out and rested a hand on his.

"Slow down, tiger," she advised him. "You'll pass out of you carry on like this." His face brightened slightly and she felt her heart flutter a little: he was cute but still not her type.

"Just what I was hoping for," he said and emptied his glass.

"You know I'm not supposed to sell you alcohol when you're already drunk," she reminded him and he frowned, as if thinking.

"Could I buy six bottles of wine now while I'm still sober?" he asked her with a triumphant smile.

"Nope. Sorry. Already drunk," she told him. He pouted.

"Aww. Pleeeease?" He was looking pleadingly at her with those stunning green eyes and she reluctantly shook her head, though she was smiling.

"Y'know, I'm a great listener," she told him as she slid into the seat opposite and he sighed.

"You brought booze! Yay!" he said with a slightly hazy smile.

"You know, if you wanted to get drunk, spirits are much quicker," she reminded him but he pulled a face.

"Total lightweight," he admitted, tapping his chest with an index finger. "Total total total total lightweight. I can manage one glass of mead before I go all whizzy and start singing 'little ole wine drinker me'. And then I fall over." He frowned and looked at the floor. "Um...so wine for me." Ruff sighed, her grey-blue eyes inspecting the guy. He was one of those nice, goofy drunks who seemed to be a minority in Berk where drunks tended to be aggressive, mean and rude. But it didn't get her any closer to finding out what was troubling this cute guy-because, whatever he was, it wasn't a drinker.

"Okay, Mister Lightweight-you wanna share why you're glugging your way through our rather limited store of wine?" she asked him as she glanced down at the photo. His hand was on or by the image all the time, the face of a beautiful blonde, her sea blue eyes piercing and her smile lighting her face.

"Trying to forget," he mumbled, grabbing the bottle and refilling his glass.

"Her?" Ruff's voice was sympathetic. He nodded and his eyes flicked down.

"Astrid," he said sadly. "Love of my life. Loved her since I first met her when I was ten. And I-I don't understand what happened." Ruff leaned forward, feeling really sorry for him.

"Okay-walk me through it," she invited him, hearing a crash from behind the bar and mentally rolling her eyes that her idiot twin brother had dropped the crate of 'Mjolnir Beer' that was the most popular drink in the bar. The guy sighed. "What's your name anyway?"

"Hiccup," he said miserably. "Yeah...designed to ward off gnomes and trolls..._thank you, Dad!_...and everyone thinks you're weird…"

"Look, I'm Raquel-but everyone calls me Ruff…" she offered and he offered her a hand with a grin.

"Pleased t'meet you, Ruff," he said with a grin. And then he downed the glass of wine. She fished the bottle out of his reach and looked into his face.

"So tell me what happened and why a guy like you has ended up in a bar like this," she prompted him. He sighed.

"We'd finished College-she was a teacher and I was an artist," he mumbled. "Am an artist. For some reason we were staying down in Tennessee...I think Astrid was doing a supply teacher post for a short while as we were travelling and she was looking for her next move while I picked up a few commissions in Nashville. I was happy to go wherever as long as I was with her. And my idiot cousin Simon was lodging with us." He sighed. "Astrid couldn't stand him even though he imagined she was madly in love with him. And I guess I should have told him to get lost-but he was working on some construction site as well and he never has any money and he asked. He is family, after all." He sighed. "She was at work and she called me to say she had something important to tell me. And then I got a message my Dad had been taken ill-here in Berk. So I went to grab a bag and my cousin spilled his beer on my phone so it wasn't working. I left her a note apologising and headed to catch the train to his bedside."

Ruff stared at him. His emerald eyes were wide but the inflection in his voice had her worrying. Another crash and a stream of profanities sounded from the back, followed by the screech of an angry chicken.

"And your Dad…?" she asked carefully. He sighed.

"He was very sick for a long time-but he survived," he admitted. "I tried getting hold of Astrid-but I couldn't. So I called Snot. He said...she was furious and left me. I finally got hold of another phone and put my SIM on...but she had blocked me. I-I don't know where she's gone or what happened. Snot said he thought it was Florida...but he was pretty vague. I went down to our apartment to see if I could find any clue-but she had taken everything and gone. And all her family are gone so there is no way I can contact her through them." His head bowed. "So I headed back here. I thought I'd get a job and just forget her...but in Berk, a broken heart is still the same."

"And your cousin?" Ruffnut asked suspiciously, her mind processing the information. He shrugged.

"He's off on holiday," he murmured. Ruffnut frowned.

"Where?" she asked. He shrugged.

"He said he'd be back in touch," he sighed and grabbed the bottle, downing it. She stared at him: she had never seen anyone literally knock back three-quarters of a bottle of wine like soda before. He wiped his mouth and shook his head sadly. "But it's okay. I mean, somehow I messed up my chance with the most amazing, most beautiful, most fierce and determined woman who I've loved since I was ten and I really don't know why. I don't deserve anything more…" He swiped his face. "I mean, how utterly pathetic am I?"

"How evil is she?" Ruff asked sharply. "You went off to your sick father and she dumps you? How selfish and cruel is that?" His heart snapped up.

"Oh nononononononono," he gabbled urgently, emerald eyes wide with shock. "No, I'm sure it's not her fault. I must have let her down. I mean, I didn't really deserve her anyway…" Ruff felt her throat thicken. She wasn't a sentimental person-well, she had been landed with a whiny twin brother for the entirety of her life approximately 99% of which had been in a state of unarmed combat-but it was clear from his voice that he utterly adored this girl. And while she didn't know exactly what had gone on, she knew she needed to locate the missing cousin-who was definitely to blame somehow. She sighed.

"Have you got her number?" she asked. "Maybe I can make a call on your behalf?" His face lit up magically and he he smiled with genuine hope.

"Would you?" he asked and she nodded. He messily scrawled the number on a paper napkin and then peered at the bottle of wine, which was now empty. "I'll bring you another," she added.

"Thanks," he murmured. "Can I put the jukebox on? I just wanna see if I can play her favourite song…" She smiled and flipped the switch.

"I'll switch it on," she murmured. "Will you be okay?" He gave a wan smile and staggered unsteadily to the machine as it lit up, running his left hand down the list of tunes. Quietly he stabbed in the number and nodded. Celine Dion's voice suddenly filled the bar.

"If anyone asks who's that fool in the corner, crying, I can say...little old wine drinker me," he mumbled and passed out.

oOo

The bar was a few streets back from the Miami Beach but the prices were still excessive. The blonde sat on her barstool, nursing a bourbon and staring miserably at her phone. The lock screen showed herself clasped in the arms of the drunken guy from Thorstonton Bar-Hiccup. Both of them looked incredibly happy, eyes sparkling and pressed in one of those intimate hugs that you could only manage if you were really close to the other person. Quietly, she rubbed her thumb over the image and then clicked the screen off, taking another slug from her drink.

"Oh Hiccup," she sighed. "Why did you do it?" The bartender walked up and refilled her glass smoothly. He was a tall, buff guy in a sleeveless cream T-shirt emblazoned with the bar's name, his raven hair tied back off his face and caramel eyes sympathetic. There were some linear tattoos on his chin which caught the eye.

"Penny for them," he commented as she looked up sharply.

"What?"

"Penny for your thoughts," he explained. "It's a saying...a sort of opening gambit for a conversation when approaching someone who looks pretty wrapped up in their own thoughts." He smiled. "I can go away and come back again, if you want?" She shook her head.

"No, it's okay," she sighed. "I'm just...upset, I guess. I knew this guy like forever and I thought he was the one but he vanishes, doesn't answer all my messages and I have no clue where he went. I had something really important to tell him-which he knew-and he just bailed. So I realised he had given me his answer and I left. Came down here for the job I set up and I'm trying to forget him."

The barman peered and raised an eyebrow.

"Doesn't look like the cheating type," he commented.

"I'm sure he isn't," she said firmly. "He's been in love with me since I can remember. And he's brave and determined so I really can't understand why...but I guess the idea of us getting engaged was too much of a commitment." The barman poured himself a tiny sliver of bourbon and refilled her glass.

"If he's known you forever, he knows all about you and I doubt he would bail because he would know what you were going to ask," he noted. "Look-did you talk?"

"All the time," she sighed, sipping the liquor. "He was an artist, a cute dorky type with a generous and kind nature. He wouldn't have secrets from me. He's just...my other half...and it feels like half of myself is missing…"

"Are you sure he bailed?" the bartender asked. Blue eyes flicked up.

"That was what his cousin said," she replied sharply. "He told me that when he heard my call, he panicked and ran. I tried calling him but there was no reply. I left him a message, an ultimatum: call me within three days or it was over. And I heard...nothing. So I knew that was it. I grabbed my stuff and left." The barman whistled through his teeth.

"But he normally communicates really well?" he checked. She nodded, peering into his face.

"Yeah...what do I call you?" she asked with a slight frown.

"Eret," he admitted. "Owner of Eret's Bar and Grill, at your service…" And he sketched a small bow. She took his proffered hand and shook it firmly once.

"Astrid," she introduced herself. And then her eyes widened as she caught a reflection in the mirror behind the bar. "Oh Thor…" Suddenly, she looked appealingly in his eyes. "I need to hide…" He started-and then beckoned her round. She dived behind the bar and had just vanished as the door opened and admitted a short, stocky man with straight black hair, pale blue eyes and a ridiculously self-confident expression. A battered green 'Berk Vikings' baseball cap was jammed on his head as he swaggered up to the bar.

"Afternoon," he said. "I'm looking for a girl." Eret eyed him up and down, smoothly moving Astrid's phone and glass and wiping the bar in one easy movement.

"Oh?" he echoed. "Not that kind of bar, fella." The stocky man gave a false laugh.

"Ah-haha, no. I wasn't saying that…" he said. "Blonde, beautiful babe, name of Astrid. She's got the bluest eyes, an amazing figure and she's crazy in love with me." Eret wiped the bar again, aware of the blonde in question crouched by his legs, almost vibrating in rage.

"So did she say she'd be here?" he asked curiously, looking at the man.

"Er well no…" the man admitted. "I'm not sure where she is except here. Because I know she came to this town." Eret's eyes widened.

"Miami Beach has a population of over 90 000 not counting tourists and visitors so you're really looking for a needle in a haystack," the barman commented, wiping a glass calmly. The stocky guy scowled. "I mean, if she wanted you to find her, wouldn't she have told you exactly where to find her?" The guy waved his finger in Eret's face.

"Look here-you're just jealous of my awesome handsomeness!" he said irritably. "I am clearly the most handsome guy here and once she claps eyes on me, she'll have to acknowledge her desperate adoration of me and become my Princess!" Eret folded his arms and gave the man a cold look.

"Well, she's clearly not here so maybe you need to carry on your search elsewhere," Eret challenged him in a hard voice. The short man huffed and turned away.

"Can't see why she would waste her time in a dive like this anyway," he sneered and walked out onto the street, walking one way for a few yards, then turning on his heel and walking back the other way. Eret leaned over the bar and stared down the road.

"What a strange little man," he commented as Astrid looked up. He handed her the phone.

"You have no idea," she sighed. Frowning, Eret helped her up and she resumed her seat. Automatically, he filled her a fresh glass of bourbon. "He's Hiccup's cousin-he was there when I returned and told me that he had bailed."

"And you believed him?" Eret asked her cynically. Astrid blinked and sloshed the amber liquid in her glass.

"He's Hiccup's cousin," she explained.

"He's a tool," Eret commented. "And he's come chasing after you, looking for you now that his cousin is out of the way." She looked at him. "You don't think it's strange your devoted, great communicator boyfriend has vanished without a trace and his asshole cousin is there to explain that he bailed-and now he's chasing you?" She shook her head.

"Then why can't I get hold of Hiccup?" she asked. "I tried his phone, I left messages-I even phoned his father's number. Nothing." She knocked back her bourbon. "Face it-Snot may be taking advantage but Hiccup's bailed."

"Snot?"

"Simon-we call him Snotlout because...well, in winter, he's not a great one for handkerchiefs when it's cold season," she admitted and then rose. "I better go do my shopping. Not got anyone else to do it for me…" Eret stared at her: she was pretty and very down but he didn't buy the story.

"Look-if you want, come back later and I'll make you my slider special," he offered her. She glanced back and gave a small grin as she pulled her shades on.

"I may take you up on that, Eret," she said.

"See you later, Astrid."

oOo

Back in her small apartment above the bar, Ruffnut glanced around and saw what she was expecting: a large, husky man sitting at the kitchen table, his thick fingers dancing surprisingly lightly over a computer keyboard. His short blond hair topped a round face with blue-green eyes and a large, rather bulbous nose, his expression locked in intense concentration. She smiled and sneaked up behind him.

"Hey there, you big hunk of brilliance," she greeted, throwing her arms around him. He squeaked and almost fell out of the chair.

"Ruff!" he said and then turned to wrap her in a loving hug. She smiled and kissed him obviously. Then she launched into his lap and nuzzled into his neck.

"How was your day, Fish?" she asked with a relieved grin. She was wild and careless and had been a prankster and a rebel at school but she had grown up, now running the Bar with her twin brother and she had fallen for Fishlegs-or Finlay-Ingerman, an old school friend who had done IT at College and taught at the local High School. Fishlegs was everything that she wasn't-steady, dependable, methodical as opposed to her wild, intuitive and unpredictable nature-but he calmed her down and was incredibly patient with her. They had lived together for a year and still had her twin, Tommy (or Tuffnut), living with them-well, Ruff would never throw him out. They were a package...unless Tuff chose to leave on his own...because they had done everything together. Fishlegs, though, was Ruff's and hers alone.

"The Seniors are working well but the Junior Year are a nightmare!" he huffed. "They just keep messing around and not doing their assignments. And when they do…" He sighed. "Let's just say I'm not going to be handing out many As. Or any… And the Bs are pretty unlikely as well to be honest..." Ruff kissed the man again, silencing his worried diatribe. He took his students' performance personally and she loved him for his caring and sensitive nature-though she would never show it too obviously. But she had suggested a couple of extremely complex and insane assignments that her boyfriend could set the students who gave him the most trouble and as a last resort, Finlay had taken her up on her suggestion-and been delighted at the results.

"My brilliant Fish," she said in a pouty voice, trailing her finger in circles over his chest. "I was really wondering if you would be able to do me a teensy tiny little small miniscule microscopic favour…" He kissed her.

"What is it, dearest?" he asked, his smile a little wary. He did love her but he knew as well any favour for Ruff or her brother tended to be more complicated and have further reaching consequences than there seemed to be at first glance. Who could forget that time he had helped them make a few small firecrackers and the whole of the science block had gone up in flames? Or he had helped them access the school records to check their grades and Tuff had erased the entire Sophomore Year? "And should I call a lawyer just in case?"

She started laughing.

"Only if my idiot brother is involved," she chuckled and fished out the paper napkin. "All I need you to do is hack the cell phone network and locate this phone. That shouldn't be too hard, should it?" His eyes widened in shock.

"But honey-there are telecommunications protocols and security issues…" he protested. She sagged.

"Awww…" she whined. "There's this really cute guy in the bar who is completely broken up about being dumped by his girl and he's so sad. It sounds like there has been some horrible miscommunication...possibly not helped by a third party. She won't return his calls so I need to locate her so I can…"

"Stalk her? Threaten her? Blackmail her?" Fishlegs's voice was ironic and only half-joking.

"That was only the once!" she protested and pouted at him, tugging on her thick braids. He sighed.

"You gotta promise you won't do anything illegal, baby," Fishlegs told her sternly. She sighed.

"You wouldn't say that if you hadn't seen him," she sighed. "Poor Hiccup. He…"

"Hiccup?" Fishlegs's brow furrowed. "As in Hiccup Haddock?"

"I didn't catch his second name but his Dad lives here and he was going out with Astrid and he's an artist…" Fishlegs sat up straighter.

"That is Hiccup Haddock-my best friend at elementary and middle school," he said firmly. "He went to a different High School but we kept in contact until he moved away for College. I've heard from him a couple of times since-and I knew he was more or less engaged to a girl called Astrid…"

"Less," Ruffnut said. "She left him. I think his cousin may have been involved…"

"Snotlout?" the husky guy said and he scowled. "That muttonhead is completely self-absorbed and imagines he's the Gods' gift to women-rather than the woman-repellant he actually is. He used to bully Hiccup when they were younger. He moved away after Elementary School but he's involved, he's probably the reason why it all went wrong…" He gently moved Ruff onto the chair by his side and then he turned to his computer. "What was that number again?"

Never able to sit still, Ruff was up, making them both a cup of tea and then looking over his shoulder, bouncing with impatience as her boyfriend accessed the cellphone network and tracked the handset. There was a pause and the map slid down to the southern part of Florida and homed inexorably in on…

"Miami Beach?" Ruff gasped, almost choking on her apple tea. Fishlegs sipped his tepid chamomile and honey tea and nodded. He hit another key and a series of dots blossomed like a rash on the street map.

"She's mainly here...here...and there…" he translated. "A school, an apartment block...and a bar." Ruff cracked her knuckles.

"Now we're talking," she said with satisfaction. "I need to tell Hiccup and then we can all head down to Miami to find her." Fishlegs choked on his tea.

"What?" he gulped. "That's over 1300 miles!"

"Yup, big boy-and you're coming!" she said determinedly. "I can't have my brother as the only other sensible adult...well, Hiccup will be there...but he's not really in a good place…"

"But it's only Tuesday…" he whimpered.

"Send in those assignments and pack, baby," she said. "I'll go and tell Hiccup that we can leave this evening. I mean, he's not even good at being a drunk...he passed out after a bottle of wine and I left him down in the bar...with Sven and Lars…" Her voice ground to a halt. "And Tuff…"

They both leapt to their feet and stampeded for the door.

oOo

Hiccup regained his senses lying on the faux-leather of the little corner booth that he had occupied for the best part of the last four days since he had realised that returning to Berk had been a horrible idea. Everything here reminded him of Astrid, for they were both from the town, descended from proud Viking stock. His head pounded and his mouth tasted like an old carpet.

The last thing he recalled was putting on the jukebox after talking to the girl from behind the bar...Raquel, was it? And she had brought wine. Wincing, he lifted his head a millimeter and his blurry vision resolved into an unfamiliar face, mere inches from his. He screamed and jerked back.

"Pathetic!" the stranger said. He was a young guy, about Hiccup's age, with a long face. Long blonde hair in messy dreadlocks framed a disappointed expression.

"Agh! Who are you?" Hiccup managed roughly. His head was still spinning and he was feeling distinctly nauseous. The strange guy-who was lean and lanky and dressed in combat pants, boots and a buff t-shirt under a brown leather vest-drew himself up in displeasure.

"You see the name above the door?" he said superiorly. "I am the Thorston in Thorstonton...or am I the -ton?" He paused and frowned. "Now that's a problem. Which one is better? The Thorston or the -ton? All I know is my unawesome sister is the less important one…" Hiccup blinked slowly as he gazed sideways at the face.

"You're the guy behind the bar," he realised.

"Tuffnut Thorston, proprietor," he introduced himself. "And I guess you are the drunk guy who lost his girl and has drunk most of our stocks of vino…" Hiccup pressed a hand to his aching head.

"Got any more?" he asked roughly. The man folded his arms.

"You're not going to win her back like that," he scolded Hiccup. "I mean-look at you. Bit of a runt, weird nose, strange hair…"

"What's wrong with my hair?" Hiccup asked, suddenly self-conscious and checking his hair with his hands.

"...teeth need some work...bet she looks at you like you were a disappointment...because you really are...I mean, you have a twig for a neck...how did you ever go out with anyone?"

"You're really really bad at pep talks," Hiccup mumbled.

"You need much more confidence, an outgoing personality, some vim and vigour and a real go-getter attitude to go win her back…" Tuff continued. "Now I want to hear you roar!"

"Excuse me?" HIccup frowned. His head was really hurting and he was having problems keeping up with the conversation.

"Roar! You know-ROAR! Let out those feelings, release that testosterone, express your masculinity and desire to get her back. ROAR!" He paused. "NOW!" he yelled in Hiccup's ear.

"AGH! I mean….RAAAAAAAR!"

Tuff folded his arms.

"Pathetic," he condemned. "Hardly even a meow. You are definitely NOT marrying material…"

"RAAAAR?"

"My chicken could do better," Tuff told him and shook his head, rolling his eyes for good measure. "In fact, I'll go get her and she can show you!" And he scrambled up and ran off behind the bar. Hiccup let his head drop back onto the seat.

"I think I must be hallucinating," he mumbled.

"No-Tuff is a weird one," a helpful high pitched voice offered from the near end of the Bar. A bald man with jug ears and a large bushy blond moustache looked across and grinned over his pitcher of beer.

"Aye-he seems to work with a different reality to the rest of us," a very short hairy man said from the next stool. His wild beard and hair were very in keeping with an old Berk Viking.

"Does he really have a chicken?" Hiccup asked blearily. Both men-and the two others sitting next to them-all nodded.

"Oh yes," the short hairy man continued. "He's practically married to the damned thing…" Hiccup closed his eyes and groaned.

"I need a drink," he sighed.

"Well, at least you're in the right place," the bald guy added, clinking his pitcher against the short hairy man's.

"Ah-ha!" came the voice of the dreadlocked man from behind the bar, along with loud squawking. "No, you brazen hussy! Don't think I didn't see you flirting with that pigeon on the Plaza…"

"It's official-I have died and ended up in Helheim," Hiccup mumbled as two shapes burst through the discreet door beside the bar that led to the apartment upstairs. Ruffnut saw him lying where he was and her face looked relieved as the husky blond guy running behind him screeched to a halt.

"Oh my Thor," he murmured. He stared at Hiccup as the young man blinked.

"Fishlegs Ingerman?" he mumbled as the husky guy gave a huge grin.

"I know that voice. Hiccup Haddock!" he exclaimed, almost squealing with excitement. "Wow!" Hiccup slowly lifted his head.

"Is that a good 'wow' or a bad 'wow?" he asked thickly. Fishlegs gestured to the crumpled shape.

"Look at you!" he exclaimed. "You're much more...and so...and very…"

"And you know there are no adjectives in that statement?" HIccup asked dryly.

"I can see why you and Astrid…" Fishlegs gushed as Ruffnut took a sharp breath and elbowed him. Hiccup closed his eyes and rested his head down once more.

"Not any more," he sighed. "I somehow managed to mess up the best thing in my life…"

"OW!" Fishlegs yelped as Ruffnut stamped on his foot as well. "What is it, pumpkin?"

"Insensitive...much…" she sighed. "Honestly, between my idiot brother and you…"

"AH-HA! I saw him first, witch! My programme of roaring and positive mentoring will soon sort out his relationship issues…" Tuff yelled from behind the bar, a clucking chicken clamped in his arms. Hiccup groaned.

"Can't you just give me more alcohol so I can try to forget her?" he pleaded but Ruff crouched down.

"Look, I don't think your girl left you," she said. "I think someone helped things to break down." And she grinned. "So we're going to find her and get you two to talk…" His eyes slammed open.

"Oh nononononono!" he begged. "I would just mess it up. If she spoke to me at all. Or didn't punch my lights out…"

"Or maybe she is waiting for the chance to find out what happened and get back with the man she loves?" Fishlegs suggested. "Ruff told me about you…" Hiccup frowned.

"You and Ruff are a thing?" he asked as the husky guy smiled proudly.

"Absolute bliss," he sighed as Hiccup groaned. "My snooky-wooky-snookums."

"Now I really need a drink," he mumbled.

"No-you need to get her back," Ruff said determinedly as her brother walked up, clearly annoyed with the struggling chicken pecking at his arms.

"Ixnay on the no-alcohol hay!" he hissed as she frowned.

"What?"

"You're a bar owner," he reminded her. "You're supposed to sell people alcohol, not talk them out of drinking!" She glared at him, then marched over and slapped him upside his head.

"You muttonhead!" she hissed back. "Being a bartender is a sacred duty-and it isn't just about selling booze. It is also as a confidante, a guru, a friend. And my young friend here needs a friend above all!"

There was a sudden silence as Hiccup groaned-and then the four guys at the bar burst out cheering and whooping.

"Okay-let's get him some water and some food before we prepare to head south," Fishlegs suggested.

"We have barbecue ribs, stuffed jalapenos, extra spicy nachos, fiery chicken wings…" Ruff reeled off as Tuff clapped his hands over the chicken's ears.

"How could you say such a thing? Have you no compassion?" he scolded her.

"I'd rather have fiery wings," she teased him. Fishlegs watched the twins square up to each other and rolled his eyes.

"I'll get some water," he said but Hiccup waved a hand.

"I'd rather have wine please?" he begged. The chicken attacked Tuff and the male twin went down under the assault. Fishlegs turned back as he tried unsuccessfully to fight off the chicken.

"I am very much hurt!"

"Shut up, Tuff. And no wine!" the husky teacher said sternly. "And you two-stop fighting. We need to get the bar sorted, some food served and Tuff-go get the van so we can go and do this." Hiccup groaned.

"You're not gonna take no for an answer, are you?" he whined.

"No," Ruff smirked. "We're going on a road trip."

oOo

Of course it wasn't that simple, because the twins seemed not to be able to agree on anything-except that they were going to disagree. On inspection, it was obvious even to Hiccup's befuddled brain that Ruff was marginally more focussed and she was very fond of Fishlegs-as much as he was of her. He recalled Fishlegs as a timid geeky guy who had been as scrawny as Hiccup himself had been until they hit Middle school when Fishlegs had suddenly grown while Hiccup had remained small, scrawny and auburn. In fact, Hiccup had only grown when he approached Junior Year of High School and though he had maintained some contact with his old friends, he was busy with advanced courses and, of course, his blossoming romance with Astrid.

He sighed. Astrid was the love of his life, the only girl he had ever imagined any future with and to suddenly be separated from her was almost unbearable. His godfather had always told him that 'when life gets bad, drown yer sorrows and then pick yerself back up and move on'. Except without Astrid, Hiccup saw no point in moving on.

But Fishlegs had wrangled the twins into the van with overnight bags, essential supplies of food and water and food for the chicken which was apparently accompanying them. Hiccup just clung to his messenger bag, refusing to leave otherwise so he had gotten into the van with only what he stood in.

Ruff had taken the first shift, driving south through Chicago and heading onto the Interstate. She looked over to Fishlegs, who was sitting next to her, reading through the assignments from his students and then reading her poetry. And as the lights of the dashboard illuminated her face and hearing the affection in Fishlegs's voice, Hiccup felt his heart break a bit more. He had thought he had the same with Astrid...but it seemed what they had wasn't real. Or she would have tried harder to get hold of him.

Unconsciously, he reached into his bag and pulled out his sketchbook, absently drawing Astrid as he recalled her, the small smile lifting her lips, her eyes twinkling with a smile and a wisp of hair over her cheek. And then he closed his eyes, resting his hand on the image, smudging it slightly.

"You okay there?" Ruff asked but Hiccup shook his head.

"I really need a drink," he sighed.

oOo

The heat of Miami hit them as they finally emerged from the beat up VW Camper Van in Thorston green. Fishlegs had patched the phone data into their 'Odin' Satnav system and Ruff and Tuff had driven them down from the north rather faster than was good for Fishlegs's blood pressure. Of course, there had been the odd stop for food, comfort breaks and to collect provisions. Hiccup had managed to occupy a corner for himself and had tried to sleep off his hangover-though the presence of Chicken, who seemed to be incredibly irritable, didn't help. Nor did the fact they got chased out of one truck stop by enraged locals for something Tuff and Chicken had done (Hiccup never found out what) and that they ran out of gas somewhere in Georgia and had been forced to push the van for two miles. Ruff had received four offers of marriage en route and Tuffnut two while Hiccup had grown more and more depressed. Every stop, he had sketched the view and taken pictures on his mended phone while sketching Ruff and Fishlegs, Tuffnut and Chicken and, of course, Astrid as well.

Tuff was at the wheel and Fishlegs had moved up front, snuggled up to Ruff, who was happily holding his hand and laughing at Tuff's disapproval. The male twin-who was apparently four minutes older than Ruff-seemed to imagine he could intimidate the husky IT teacher but Hiccup recalled Fish was even-tempered, kindly but devoted to people he cared for. It was how Hiccup had managed to stay in contact so long, despite the competing pressures of different High Schools and careers. In his heart, Hiccup wished he had maintained the friendship more assiduously since he would have had someone to talk to but it was too late now.

Tuff had parked them round the corner from the bar that Astrid's phone had spent a lot of time in, under a line of elegant palms and they had all squinted in the brilliant sun.

"You do realise that I am optimised for cloudy Berk days with no sun at all?" Hiccup asked them grumpily. He was feeling hung over and headachey and very apprehensive about seeing Astrid. He gestured to all of himself. "I mean, I have auburn hair and freckles. If I even see the sun by accident, I peel!"

"I'm sure Astrid will be so overjoyed to see you that you won't see the sun for a week!" Tuff commented as everyone stared at him.

"Okay-waaaay too much information, idiot!" Ruff sighed. "No offence, Hiccy."

"Hiccy? _Hiccy?_" he repeated, his eyes wide with shock.

"Yeah-it's cute," Ruff told him. He shook his head urgently.

"No, it's not," he said definitely.

"How about Hicc?" Tuff suggested.

"Thor, no," Hiccup said firmly as they walked slowly down the street. "My name is already an embarrassing bodily function-I don't need to actually sound like one."

"Howzabout Ginger?" Ruff suggested.

"Not!" Hiccup growled. "So very definitely not."

"Well, what did Astrid call you?" Fishlegs suggested. The auburn-haired man ground to a halt, his face almost stricken.

"Hiccup," he said tonelessly. "Or sometimes 'Babe'."

"Aww…" Fishlegs said as they ambled round the corner and saw the bar ahead. The twins instantly scowled and folded their arms in unison, which Hiccup thought was incredibly eerie.

"I don't like it," they said together as Fishlegs sighed, peering at the pristine sign, the neat chairs and tables outside, the clean windows and spotless appearance within.

"Guys-I know you get very antsy going into any other bar-but this one is over a thousand miles away from Thorstonton so it is no threat at all to you," he reminded them. "You can go in there and relax-and remember that this is for Hiccup." They all looked at the skinny shape in the rumpled green check shirt, his pale brow sheened with sweat and auburn hair wild and unbrushed. They twins scowled.

"We can't let her see him like that," Tuff said urgently. "I mean, if I saw him like that, I'd run a mile."

"Too late. She ran about a thousand," Hiccup commented sourly.

"If we start that makeover nonsense, we'll probably miss her! By a month!" Ruff said in exasperation, then reached over and grabbed Hiccup's hand to bodily haul him into the bar.

"Hey-what are you doing? I can walk under my own steam, thank you very much! And I don't want anyone to get any of the wrong ideas…"

The barman looked up as they all entered, his caramel eyes widening at the sight of the twins, wearing identical combat pants, grey tee-shirts, khaki vest and combat boots while Fishlegs was in a pink and yellow Hawaiian shirt, knee length beige shorts and sensible leather sandals. Hiccup was in crumpled jeans, green check shirt and trainers, a light scruff visible on his sharp chin. An imposing, buff shape in his 'Eret's Bar and Grill' cream tee-shirt, his muscular arms folded and jet hair tied back off his face. Eret sighed.

"Can I help you?" he asked, his English accent a little more obvious in his surprise. Tuff marched up to the bar, his eyes flicking over the off-white marble floor tiles, pristine white bar and furniture and the brilliantly lit rows of bottles..

"Traditional decor, unimaginative use of space, fairly standard menu…" he began as Ruff slapped a hand over his mouth.

"We're looking for a young lady who we think may have been in this area," she interrupted, glaring at her brother. Fishlegs stepped forward, holding up Hiccup's photo of Astrid.

"This lady-Astrid Hofferson-who is our friend's girlfriend…" he added. Eret glanced at the familiar shape of his new regular and sighed. He had actually recognised Hiccup from the picture on Astrid's phone and he knew that she was saddened by the break-up. By the look of things, the guy was equally as broken up-and that made Eret even more suspicious that maybe neither of them had initiated the fracture. He nodded.

"I've met Astrid,' he admitted. "You're Hiccup." Emerald eyes widened and he lurched forward a pace.

"Is she okay?" he asked suddenly. Eret gave a small smile.

"Well, much of the time-but she is sad," he admitted. "And angry at you, by the way." Hiccup gulped.

"I need a drink," he admitted. "To dull the pain for when she punches me. Several times…" Eret gestured.

"I have a wide selection of spirits-with some especially fine white and dark rums and bourbons…" he began.

"Wine," Hiccup said firmly. "Red, preferably." Smiling, Eret unscrewed a Californian Shiraz and poured out a glass.

"Coke," Fishlegs said.

"Whiskey sour," Ruff added.

"A Viking Slow Screw against Valhalla Sunrise Royal," Tuff added.

"What?" Eret exclaimed. "What the Hell…?"

"Ignore my idiot brother," Ruff sighed. "He thinks he's testing you by asking you to make an impossible Frankenstein cocktail. He'll have a Tequila Sunrise, please." Fishlegs sighed.

"Our friend Hiccup had to leave because his father was taken seriously ill," he said. "He left a note because his cousin managed to disable his phone. He tried to phone Astrid but found she'd blocked him. When he was finally able to get back to Tennessee, he found she had left him. Devastated, he came home to Berk-but he's a mess. So we decided to try to help them at least meet…" Eret sighed.

"Astrid said as much-except for her, he just vanished. He was uncontactable and she had no idea where he had gone. She left him an ultimatum and when he missed the deadline, she left."

"But I left a note…" Hiccup protested. Eret nodded, reading the distraught expression in his emerald gaze.

"You know, I believe you," the barman said. "Especially since a short black haired guy has been coming around looking for Astrid as well. Name of Simon?"

"Snotlout-my cousin," Hiccup said hollowly. "He told me he didn't know where Astrid was…"

"Well-he doesn't exactly-but he's been close," Eret revealed. "She can hide behind the bar faster than anyone I've ever seen…"

"Ah-you haven't met me yet," Tuff put in. The buff bartender rolled his eyes.

"Look, cutie-we're in the same profession," Ruff revealed, leaning unsettlingly close. "Tuff and I are proprietors of Thorstonton Bar in Berk-near Chicago."

"As opposed to all those other Berks," Hiccup muttered.

"Ignore him-he's hungover," Ruff sniped back. "And we understand the code of going above and beyond for your regulars and friends. And while Hiccup is a relatively new regular, he needs his Astrid."

"And Astrid needs him, I think," Eret replied. "Look-you guys take that table there-in the corner behind the side of the bar. It's not obvious from the door so you can hear what is happening...and not spook anyone until you have a chance to speak to them." Then he frowned. "But the way she was pulling you along, I kind of thought that you and she...?" Hiccup yelped.

"Agh!"

"Thor, no," Ruff said with more composure. "Y'know, I have my own hunk of beefcake here…" And she slid her arm through Fishlegs's with a happy smile. "Sorry-my ship has already sailed." Eret grinned.

"No sweat," he smiled."I'll live." Then he winked. "So maybe we can get these two back together?" Ruff offered up a fist.

"Barkeepers' Code?" she said. He fist-bumped then offered his fist to Tuff. After a hard stare, Tuff repeated the action.

"Barkeepers' Code," he said sternly. "But you really should have a stuffed yak. It certainly adds to the ambience…"

"Over there!" Eret said in exasperation and turned to sort the drinks. Hiccup slumped in a corner, nursing his wine.

"This was a horrible idea," he said in a defeated voice. "I mean-what have I got to compete with here...or even him? I mean he's tall and buff and handsome and this place...well, it's beautiful and warm and sunny and all I have to offer is Berk. Cold, windy, snowy, foggy Berk where even the snowmen try to get away for the winter…" Tuffnut scowled over his cocktail.

"Great place to sell alcohol, though," he muttered. Fishlegs sighed, sipping his coke through a straw.

"How would you feel if Ruff was sad because something had split Ruff and I up?" he asked.

"Relieved," the male twin said immediately. Ruff rolled her eyes.

"Not the best example," she huffed.

"But if your sister was sad, would you just leave her sad?" the husky guy insisted. Finally Tuff relented.

"Obviously, I would make sure she was okay," he conceded. He rolled his eyes. "Okay… so maybe this is…"

"Okay-I want answers!" A self-confident voice announced and all four occupants of the table peered round the bar to see the stocky black-haired shape of Simon 'Snotlout' Jorgensen glaring at Eret. "I know she comes here-I've spoken to people. So I am going to wait until she comes in and then I can finally get her to admit she loves me." Eret raised a cynical eyebrow.

"You know, if she really was in love with you, I am sure she would have told you how to get hold of her...or would have asked me to tell you how to find her…" he said in exasperation. But the stocky man clambered onto the stool at the far end of the bar, pulled his cap down over his face and snapped his fingers.

"Beer, cold," he ordered. "I'm sure once she finally sees me, she will realised what she has been fighting against." Eret poured a cold beer without a word, his silence eloquent. Hiccup refilled his wine and Fishlegs carefully positioned himself between the skinny auburn-haired guy and the door. There was a pause as Snotlout snapped his fingers. "I'll have the special sliders, two portions of fries, calamari, Cuban wings, key lime pie and a green salad," he announced. Eret glared.

"Anything else?" he asked sarcastically.

"Okay...double nachos as well," Snotlout added unselfconsciously. Eret rolled his eyes and went through the back. There was a pause as the door opened and a familiar blonde walked in, wearing a fitted sky blue sleeveless dress and brown leather gladiator sandals. Her long blonde hair was loose over her shoulders and her nose was pink from the sun. Sighing, she took her usual seat halfway along the bar and pulled her shades off, looking down at her phone.

Hiccup stiffened at the sight of Astrid reaching over the bar to fish out a tumbler and pouring herself a generous slug of bourbon. And then she sighed and knocked the whole lot back in one go.

"PRINCESS!" Snotlout's voice filled the bar and everyone inwardly groaned. "Finally you can relax. Your Prince is here…"

Her glass slammed down onto the bar and Hiccup, who knew Astrid better than anyone, could see the tension in her shoulders that presaged an explosion.

"What gave you the impression I ever wanted to set eyes on you again?" she asked icily. Snotlout swung round to face her.

"Because I didn't run out on you," he said boldly. Ruff stiffened and her eyes flicked over to Hiccup, whose eyes had darkened with betrayal.

"Oh, he didn't just say that…" she breathed.

"And that means that I will want to associate with the crass, insensitive, brainless, narcissistic muttonhead who told me his cousin had bailed and hit on me in the same sentence?" she growled. "I asked if you were sure and you were incredibly insensitive. I mean, Hiccup is your cousin and you should have known where he was. Or at least not annoyed me!"

"Babe-I've been in love with you ever since you came to that first family do with Hiccup and now he's out of the way, why wouldn't you want to go out with all this awesome manliness?" Snotlout asked. Astrid's fists bunched.

"Notwithstanding I am off men entirely since that dick move Hiccup pulled, have you seen the specimens out here?" she taunted him. "Buff, bronzed, beautiful...why on earth would I ever want something like you? Or that cheating ass, Hiccup?"

"Um...Astrid?"

"WHAT?" she yelled and spun-to face the wary and slightly drunk shape of Hiccup standing a couple of feet away from her.

"I never cheated on you," he said quietly. "I never let you down. I never bailed. Dad had a cerebral haemorrhage and I had to go straight back to Berk because they told me he had a seventy five percent chance of dying. I went straight to the ICU and remained there until he was out of danger. Because Snot managed to spill beer all over my phone so it was completely shot, I left a note. I told you where I was. You never called. And when I finally managed to get hold of Snot, he said you had dumped me and headed to Florida."

She leapt to her feet and advanced to mere inches from him, glaring into his face with her sparkling sea blue eyes filled with anger.

"No-I called you to tell you I had my dream job here in Miami. That I had put down a deposit on an apartment and that we would finally settle...and i found you had gone. No note. No message on my phone. Your phone was off and you were uncontactable. Your Dad wasn't answering either. And Snot told me that you had decided you didn't want to be tied down to me. That commitment was too much to ask and you were heading home to your family. I left you an ultimatum-to get back to me or it was off. You had your three days. And nothing. So I left…"

She stopped, listening to her own words. The twins rose.

"I could point out the flaw in both your assumptions...but I think you both know that he's sitting at the far end of the bar with a huge pile of food…" Ruffnut piped up, a smug smile on her lips. She stuck her hand out. "And you owe me twenty, Tuff."

"Oh man...I was hoping she was a secret lesbian," Tuff groaned. "It's Chicken's fault. I should never bet based in her hunches..."

"Who are you?" Astrid demanded, her eyes still blazing.

"I'm Raquel Thorston and this is my idiot brother Tommy," she introduced herself. "Your Hiccup became a regular in our bar in Berk. He looked so sad…"

"So you moved in? You're welcome!" Astrid snapped. Ruff shook her head.

"What? SO not my type," she retorted. "Fishlegs Ingerman is my hunk of heartthrob…" And she gestured to Fishlegs, who gave a little wave.

"Um...hi…" he said. Astrid huffed.

"Whatever," she snapped. "So why didn't you call me once you got your phone mended and…"

"You blocked me," he reminded her sharply and swayed slightly. Her eyes widened and she stared at her phone. It had been an action born out of anger, frustration and hurt-not quite bad enough to erase him completely but the last step short. "I couldn't get through. I didn't know where you were. I asked Heather but she told me to jump off a cliff-so I assumed she had been told whatever tale you had been. I had no way to find you."

"So why are they here?" she asked, anger dissipating a little in favour of curiosity. He shrugged.

"Fish was an old friend from Middle School and we kept in touch when I joined you at Raven Point High until I went to College," he explained. "They wanted to give me a chance to find you-because they didn't believe that you would dump me. I couldn't believe you would dump me." His eyes drifted over to Snotlout, who was trying to look innocent and eat sliders and fries all at once.

"She did though," he piped up through a mouthful of fries. Astrid slowly turned to look at him.

"He really doesn't learn, does he?" Ruff whispered loudly enough for everyone to hear.

"Was there a note?" Astrid demanded. Snotlout made a show of thinking.

"Um...not that I can recall…" he mumbled. Hiccup gave a sharp intake of breath.

"I know who I'd believe," Fishlegs whispered to Ruff. She nodded sagely.

"Busted," she replied.

"And did you know that Hiccup's father was ill?" the furious blonde asked coldly. This time, the stocky man looked uncomfortable.

"I...may have heard something along those lines…" he admitted. Growling, she advanced towards him.

"And you didn't think to mention it? Instead of 'Sorry Astrid-Hiccup has gone to his dying father's bedside' you weighed in with 'Hey, Babe. Hiccy's dumped you. Just doesn't want the commitment. I mean-commitment phobe or what? Anyway, I'm free and awesome so...how about it? Babe?' You utter asshole!"

"Hiccy?"

"Wait-he really said that?" Eret interjected. She nodded. "God, what an utter c-"

"Hey-delicate ears here!" Tuff piped up, producing Chicken with his hands over her ears.

"What is that doing in my bar? Um...Health Code anyone?"

"Simon Gary Jorgensen-did you really hide my note, lie to my girlfriend and deliberately break us up?" Hiccup asked in a suddenly angry voice.

"Um...what was the question again?" Snotlout asked, edging back and falling off his stool.

"And I bet he dropped beer on your phone on purpose as well," Fishlegs added.

"That was an accident! An Accident!" Snotlout protested from the floor.

"But you did hide the note," Eret pressed. Snotlout nodded and produced it from his pocket. Astrid snatched it and read the familiar messy scrawl, backslanted from Hiccup's left-handed style.

"I got the idea when Astrid turned up and was so mad that Hiccup wasn't there when she had specifically asked him to be in for her big announcement of their new life in Florida," he confessed. "And before I knew it, I had told her that he had bailed. I-I didn't mean to...but once I had I suddenly thought I may have a chance with Astrid…"

"Snotlout," Hiccup said angrily. "You are the only person on this planet who thinks that!"

"I would never go out with you-even if you were the last man alive!" she added, the note in her hand.

"Aww...c'mon...that's just mean!" he whined.

"And causing untold heartache for Hiccup-when he's already distraught about his Dad isn't mean?" Astrid accused him furiously, her eyes shining with guilt and rage. "You...utter swine! Making me believe that Hiccup bailed. Implying he may have someone else when I couldn't get hold of him...because you didn't tell me where he was. If I had known about his Dad, I would have tried every hospital in Berk and left a message-and then gone up there to be at his side. Instead I blocked him and bad-mouthed him and broke his heart…"

"Astrid?' he murmured, resting his hand gently on her arm. She turned to face him, her face stricken. He was shocked to see her eyes were shining with tears.

"Hiccup...I am so sorry…" she whispered. "I should have tried harder. I should never have doubted you. I-I think I knew something was wrong...but I couldn't get hold of you so I had to give in…" She lowered her eyes. "Can-can you ever forgive me?"

"Astrid," he murmured. "Shut up." He pulled her into a deep kiss, his hand gentle on her cheek and lips moving sensuously over hers. Her arms wrapped around him and when they broke apart, she sighed and rested her head on his shoulder.

"Babe," she sighed.

"You're forgiven." he murmured.

Tuffnut sniffed and wiped his eyes on Fishlegs's garish Hawaiian shirt.

"I taught him all he knows," he sobbed. "That's marriage material." The husky guy elbowed him and wrapped his arms around Ruff, pressing a tender kiss to her cheek.

"You done good, snookums," he whispered and she smiled, snuggling against him.

"Aww...thanks, honey," she murmured. Astrid looked up.

"Your Dad?" she asked worriedly. He managed a wan smile.

"A week in a coma and another in the Stroke Unit and now he's back home with Gobber driving him crazy as some sort of weird two-limbed foul-mouthed nursemaid," he told her in a relieved tone.

"Does no one care I'm on the floor here?" Snotlout asked.

"NO!" everyone replied together.

"Snotlout-we are family," Hiccup told him sternly. "I took you in and gave you a roof over your head when you needed somewhere and you abused that by breaking Astrid and me up. You are NOT being invited to the wedding." Astrid looked up.

"Was that a proposal?" she asked. He turned to Eret and gestured, then grasped the fresh glass of Shiraz and downed it in one. He wiped his mouth on the back of his hand.

"If you want it to be," he said.

"Yes please," she said and he frowned.

"Was that an answer?" he asked.

"If you want it to be," she replied with a smirk. He nodded and Tuffnut burst into tears while Fishlegs squealed and high-fived Ruffnut, then swung her round in a hug. Snotlout groaned where he was sitting on the floor as Chicken located him and pecked his ankle. He kicked her.

"DON'T YOU ATTACK MY CHICKEN! REVENGE! REVENGE!" Tuff screamed and flung himself on the prone Snotlout. Eret grabbed a bottle of Champagne and popped the cork.

"Drinks all round!" he announced. "To celebrate." As Ruff and Fishlegs helped pour the sparkling liquid, Hiccup looked into Astrid's blue eyes, now filled once more with happiness and hope-as were his own emerald ones.

"We're gonna have to smarten you up, Babe," Astrid murmured, running and thoughtful finger along his scruffy jaw. "You need a good shave. And a wash. And new clothes. But definitely a shave…" He smirked.

"I dunno-I was thinking about maybe growing a beard," he murmured. "You think it would suit me? A nice neatly trimmed one?" She looked at him, her head inclined for a moment.

"Nah," she said. "You'll get too hot down here."

"You do know I'll also burn to a crisp in this sun?" he pointed out as she sipped her champagne. She chuckled.

"I have some Factor 100 sun block with your name on it," she told him smugly.

"Whatever-as long as we are together," he whispered. "I just wanted to crawl into a bottle of wine without you." She smiled.

"Never the answer," she sighed. "You have me now, my scruffy and slightly inebriated Hiccup. And I'm never letting you go again." He sighed in relief.

"I don't know about you," he said, grasping a half-filled champagne glass and tinging it against the others', "but I have seen more than enough bars. Shall we head somewhere else?" She downed her fizz and kissed him again, her arm wrapped around his lean waist.

"I thought you'd never ask," she said to Tuff's yell of 'CALLED IT!'. "And Hiccup?"

"Yes?"

"I think...from now on-no drinking!"

"Yes, Milady."

**The End**


End file.
